kathy's space

 ONE WAY TRACK
I'M NEITHER HERE NOR

THERE.
SEEMS YOU NEVER CARED.
DEALING WITH THE PAIN.
WHO'S TO BLAME?
HOW'S ONE TO REFRAIN,FROM

THE ONE WAY TRACK?
AND FOREVER LOOKING

BACK.THE BEAUTY THESE

EYES HAVE SEEN.TOO THE

SORROWS AND PAIN,NOT

FORESEEN..
RIDING FASTER AND FASTER

TO NO WHERE NOR THERE.NO

ONE TO SHARE.A LOVE

RESTRICTED AND TOOK AWAY.
HIT BY THE TICKET TO THE

ONE WAY TRAIN.LIFE LEFT IN

SUCH AN ARRAY.
WITH NOONE TO BLAME.THE

FALLEN LEFT IN SHAME.
THE FAILURES AND

SUCCESSES,ALL THE

SAME.YOU CREEPED

IN,THEN,CREEPED

OUT.LEAVING AN EMPTY

SOUL,WANTING TO

SCREAM AND SHOUT.
ON THIS ONE WAY TRAIN ,ON A

ONE WAY TRACK.CRUSHED

AND

BURNED,YOU,UNCONCERNED.
WINDOWS BLOCKED,CAN'T SEE THE BEAUTY.LEFT HERE AMONGST THE OTHERS.
ALL ON THE ONE WAY TRACK.
NOT WISHING ANY HARM,SOUNDING NO ALARMS.
ON THIS TRACK,LESSONS LEARNED,
PREPARING TO DISCERN.
ONE WAY TRACK,
PREPARING FOR A COME BACK.
TO BE ONCE YET STRONG AND BOLD,
NEVER AGAIN LEAVING ME COLD.
BACK IN TO THE FRAME OF WARMTH AND LOVE.
TO BE WHO I AM ,AND WAS MEANT TO BE.
YOU SEE.
YOU THOUGHT YOU'D TAKEN IT.
I'M LEAVING THE ONE WAY TRAIN.
IT WILL NOT BE A STRAIN.
THE WICK WILL BE LITE.
THE WARMTH I WILL FEEL AGAIN.
THE LOVE  WILL BEGIN AGAIN.
MY HEART MINDED.
TO SHARE AND CARE.
NOW NO MORE WEEPING WILLOWS,
BUT THE BUDS OF ROSES WILL BEGAN TO GROW.
SAYING GOOD BYE ONE WAY TRACK/
THANKS FOR THE LESSONS
LEARNED.
NEVER THINKING FOR A MOMENT,THEY WEREN'T EARNED.

 DAD
I LOVE YOU DAD,WITH ALL MY HEART.
WOULD NEVER IMAGINE US APART.
ONCE YOU WERE VERY  VERY STRONG,NOW
YOU'VE BECAME WEAK
A LIFE WITH OUT DAD.
WOULD BE VERY SAD.
ONE WHO GAVE ME SECURITY.
NOW A LIFE UNSURE,UNSECURITIES.
YOU HAVE BEEN MY STRENGHT, MY SOLID ROCK.
I'm HERE ON THE DOCK,
WONDERING DAD WHAT' IT ALL MEANS.
LIFE AND LESSONS TO LEARN,SO IT SEEMS.
THE WHIRL WIND IS COMING DAD.
WHAT IS YOUR BABY GIRL TO DO?
THE LOVE WE HAVE SO UNCONDITIONAL AND TRUE.
THE PAIN SO DEEP DAD.
DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.
HOW DO I GO ON FROM THIS ONE.?
WHAT IS TO BECOME OF THE ONES LEFT BEHIND?
ALWAYS IN MY HEART AND ON MY MIND.
WHAT'S THE PURPOSE?
WHY'S LIFE THROWING ME SO MANY OBSTICLES.
SO MANY TRAMA'S.
WITH SO MUCH DRAMA?
DAD I AM ANGRY,NOT WITH YOU.
I HAVE LOST SO MUCH.
SO MANY FRIENDS,
FAMILY AND MY LIFE.
I PROMISE TO FIGHT TILL THE BETTER END.
MY HEART AND MIND CAN'T CONTINUE ON LIKE THIS.
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND,SOME ONE IS LEAVING ME. OR THIS LIFE.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
WHAT HAVE I MISSED?
WHAT IS GOD TRYING TO SHOW ME.
WHAT AM I TO BECOME ,TO BE?
DAD I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU?.
I FEELING ALONE ALREADY.
I'M NOT FEELING TO STURDY.
YOU WANT ME TO BE STRONG.
I AM BEING ALL I CAN BE.
BUT,I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO.IS THAT WRONG?
I AM FEELING ABANDONED.
AND LOST.
A WORLD WITHOUT YOU,I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN WITHSTAND.
A WORLD WITHOUT YOUR STRONG HANDS.
I FEEL THE DARKNESS,
THE DEATH ANGEL AT YOUR DOOR.
TO TAKE YOU AFLIGHT,AND SOAR.
INTO THE EVERLASTING.
FOREVER MORE,RESTING AND RELAXING.
DAD DON'T GO,
YOU STILL HAVE ALOT TO TEACH AND SHOW.
I REALIZE IT'S NOT IN YOUR HANDS,
I WILL LET YOU SOAR WITH THE DOVES, IN HEAVEN ABOVE.
BUT ,DAD I LOVE YOU,AND I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO SAY ,"IT'S ALL DONE"."YOU MAY GO HOME".
A LIFE LIVED,AND A WONDERFUL MAN.
YOUR DAUGHTER ,YOUR BIGGEST FAN
KATHY

     GOOD BYE
LOOKING BACK ON THE MOMENTS WE SHARED/
THE TIMES OF LAUGHTER AND TEARS.
THE SILLY GAMES.
NOT REALLY KNOWING THE HURT AND FEARS.
WISHING TO NEVER TO HAVE TO SAY GOOD BYE.
WISHING FOR FOREVER,SIGH.
WISHING FOR NO PAIN.
BUT A LIFE TO REGAIN.
TO CAPTURE ONE MOMENT,ONE GLIMSE
JUST DOESN'T MAKE SINCE.
WE ALL LOVED YOUAND ADORED YOU.
YOU 'VE LEFT US SO BLUE.
LOST IN OURSELVES.
PONDERING,WONDERING.
WHAT COULD WE HAVE SAID OR DONE.
SO YOU'D HAVE ONE MORE,MORNING SUN.
JUST ONE MORE DAY,
WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY?
HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN,
THAT YOU WOULD SAY GOODBYE.
REMEMBER THE MOMENTS UNDER THE STARS ABOVE.
THE BEAUTY THEY GLISTENED,
THATS WHAT YOU BROUGHT INTO OUR LIVES.
WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN.
FOR A MOMENT,IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN,
COULD I HAVE HAD THE KEY,
GUESS THIS IS HOW IT MUST BE.
REST IN PEACE,FOREVER MORE.
HOPING ONE DAY TO CROSS THOSE SHORES.
TO SEE MY FRIEND.
TO YOU MY FRIEND TILL THE BITTER END.
MY LOVE,EVEN MY EMPTY SOUL,
WHERE NOW LIES AND EMPTY HOLE.
YOU DIDN'T DIE IN VAIN.
SOME GOOD HAS TO COME FROM IT.
LESSONS LEARNED.
NOW TO LIVE WITH  THE REGRETS,
TO SLOW DOWN AND LESS FRETS,
TO SMILE AT SOMEONE,TO EASE THEIR PAIN.
WITH NOTHING TO GAIN.
IN YOUR MEMORY,
I KEEP THIS VOW.
LIFE IS BETTER TO CHANCE.
NOT JUST TO GLANCE.
COULD HAVE MISSED ALL THE PAIN.
WHAT WOULD HAVE THAT GAINED.
SAYING SORRY AND GOODBYE,
TO THE FAMILY,MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU WARM FROM THE STORM,
IT'S BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND NOT TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL.
AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME, TO LOVE A LOVED ONE SEEMS SO SMALL.
YET THE MOST IMPORANT THING IN THE WORLD.
MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU.
THE PURPLEXION OF THE SITUATION IS OVERWHELMING.I KNOW,
BUT,HE TOUCHED SO MANY WITH HIS EVERLASTING GLOW.
HIS CHARACTER,SO AMAZING .
MOVE FORWARD,THERE IS NOTHING WE OR YOU COULD HAVE DONE.
THE DARKNESS CONSUMED,RAVISHED HIS MIND
TOOK CONTROL.
HE DIDNT REALIZE WE ALL LOVED HIM.
AND WILL MISS HIM DEARLY.
BUT LIFE GOES ON.WE MUST MOVE FORWARD.
HARD I KNOW.
FRIENDS ARE ANGELS IN DISGISE.
A GIFT FROM ABOVE.
TO SORE TOGETHER AS A DOVE.
REACH OUT TO THEM AND GOD.HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH.
LOVE ALWAYS OVERCOMES.
BYE MY FRIEND

  EDGE OF THE NIGHT

THE HURT DOESN'T SHOW,BUT THE PAIN STILL GROWS.

WAITING FOR THE ANSWERS,THOUGHTS STILL WONDERING.

HERE I AM IN THE DARKNESS.

AWAITING... STILL PONDERING.

PRETEND IT DOESNT BOTHER YOU.

INSIDE,IN THE EDGE OF THE NIGHT,WANTING TO EXPLODE

LYING IN BED.WANTING TO SLEEP,YET STILL

PLAYING THE ROLL.

IT'S TAKEN IT'S TOLL.

WHAT IS A PERSON YO DO.?

THE EDGE OF THE NIGHT,

NO ONE TO SHARE.

NO ONE TO  CARE.

WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TURN ON THE MORNING LIGHT NO SOFT HANDS,NO GENTLE WHISPERS.

ONLY STRONG BINES,THAT BIND YOU IN THE EDGE OF NIGHT.

SO EXCLUDED,SO FAR FROM REALITY.

THE NIGHT HOLDS YOU.THOUGHTS SHOVE YOU.

STRUNG OUT FROM THE PAIN.

FEEL YOU WILL NEVER REGAIN.

STILL IN THE SPOT LIGHT,GIVING OUT YOUR ENERGY,AS YOU ALWAYS DO.

THE SWEAT AND BLOOD YOU GIVEN OUT.

UNSURE WHY,SO MANY DOUBTS.

THE EYES ARE UPON YOU,

STARING YOU DOWN.BUT NEVER ANY SOUNDS.

EDGE OF THE NIGHT,

CLOSING YOU EYES AGAIN,

HOW TO RELEASE THESE BANDS.

HOPING TO GET THROUGH THE NIGHT,

TO THE MORNING LIGHT.

HOW TO EXCAPE THE REALITY,TO THE FANTASY,

HOW TO REACH THE EXTACY.

LOST IN THE NIGHT.OH WHAT A FRIEGHT.

SO TORN AND SO LOST.

EDGE OF THE NIGHT,

A REMINDER YOU'VE BEEN TOSSED

YOU'D SHEAD THOSE TEARS,AND CRY,

IF THEY COULD HELP YOU FLY.

BUT,YOU CAN'T GO AGAINST YOUR BELIEFS.

IT HAS TO BE TRUE LOVE.

A LOVE THAT LAST FOREVER.

OR IT WOULD NVER BE.

YOU SEE.

LOVE IS AMAZING,BEAUTIFUL.

IT TURNS ON THE MORNING LITE.

 IN THE EDGE OF NIGHT.

LOVE PUTS A CANDLE IN THE WINDOW.

TO SHINE EVER SO BRIGHT.

YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.

TREAT HER RIGHT,

AND YOU WANT BE STANDING IN THE RAIN... WITH YOUR HEAD HANGING DOWN LOW..

SO IF YOU WANT HER.BEST TAKE THAT TRUMPET AND BLOW.

NO TIME FOR GAMES.

SHE'S TIRED OF THE EDGE OF NIGHT

Thursday, July 10, 2008

INSIDE Current mood: rejected Category: Romance and Relationships                                           INSIDE HAVE YOU EVER FELT AS I.OR IS IT ONLY ME.TO FELL SO ALONE.DO I PERISH DAY BY DAY.     THE TEARS I CRY.COULD FEEL THE ENTIRE SKY. THE PAIN SO DEEP,THE MISERY I KEEP. THE DARKNESS ELUDES ME .WHAT'S TO BECOME OF ME. THE OVERWHELMINGNESS ISN'T A BLISS.I LOOK AROUND AT OTHERS AND SEE THEM SMILE.I'M SO DEEP IN THE NILE. SO MANY MOONS AWAY.A SOUL THAT IS TO STAY.IN VERY MUCH ARRAY.I SEE THEM HOLDING HANDS,WHEN MINE HAS BEEN BANNED.TO FEEL THE TOUCH OF ANOTHER,TO FEEL THE INTAMACY.WHAT A SPECAIL GIFT. WANT IT TREMENDACLY .TO FEEL LOVE,SAFE AND SECURE. WHAT A LOVE FOR SURE.WHAT A LIFE IT WOULD BE,IF ONLY I COULD BE SET FREE.TO HAVE LOVED AND GIVEN MY ALL,SEEMED SO SMALL AFTER ALL. TO BE DRIVEN AWAY AND LEFT ASTRAY. ABANDONED AND REJECTED AND NEGLECTED. SO MUCH INSIDE,I FEEL I MUST DIE INSIDE WHERE NO ONE SEES. THE HILLS I'VE CLIMBED.THE VALLEYS I'VE SEEN. NO ONE TRULY KNOWS THE STRUGGLES I'VE OVER CAME. GUESS YOU'VE NEVER FELT THE SAME. INSIDE WHERE THE HEART LIES.THE LOVE IT SHOWS.THE PAIN IT HIDES  A HEART SO HEAVY AND YET SO LITE. BUT YOU HAVE TO GO BY THE RULES AND ABIDE HAVE SO MANY AROUND AND YET NO ONE TRULY KNOWS. UNTIL ONE DAY YOU'RE WEAK AND IT SHOWS. DO YOU REALLY KNOW THE PERSON AROUND YOU. OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A CLUE.? THIS IS SO TRUE.SO MANY PEOPLE NOT REALIZING WHO YOU ARE. SO MANY JUDGING YOU.COMPARING YOU BY THERE STANDARDS. THE TRUTH ,YET SO FAR. DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE?

October 4, 2007 - Thursday

Loneliness-Love_Despair
Current mood: confused
Category: LONELY Life


Loneliness

Loneliness such an empty hole. Field with so much pain.The darkness is over whelming.What do you do?To want to be loved,appreciated.Even desired.You find yourself so alone ,so affraid of the unknown.The rejections,not caring,do I hold on?To live in that darkness.No light.You search ,you beg,you pray,Jesus help me to hold on.Where is that light?Darkness so consuming, its consumed you.Over whelms you.To be cast aside! What lonliness!. What to do?To feel so alone,so unwanted, so unloved.Loneliness is a horrible price to pay for others happiness.You love to the core, to only be rejected, thrown away.Just want to be loved.So simple the words.So hard to relate.The despair, the hurt, the pain.To ache for, to want to be loved appriciated.To be with someone so long and they just don’t care.Unappreciative.To reject,knowing your going no where.Taking you for granted.I know there is something beautiful, I’ve had it ,where did it go?Why can’t they love.?Do I merely exist? do I go on/How do you go on?After knowing such beauty.To yurn for that kind of love, that kind of beauty.But, your alone.You have so much love to give,its wasted,with that rejection.That mistreatment.The cold heart destroys.To feel ,not wanted.To feel unattractive,to feel unneeded.Your very soul dying away with each moment by moment.Not caring about life,not caring about tomarrow,just wanting the day to be over.To be together, yet so far apart.Do you feel the same?Do you not want?Do you really want to be alone?Why can’t you just love?To be held, to be loved,to feel their protection.What do I need to say/What do I need to do? Have I done all I can?Is this it?All you want,alll you need?Do you even care for yourself?I pretend it doesn’t bother me.I put up such fronts.No more I need more.I need to be appreciated.Where did it go?I’m missing it.I need it.To walk alone in this cold cruel world alone,by my self.With my children ,of course,.to have a bad day and come home to feel that comfort,no comfort.More drama, more anger,so cold.Why don’t you want to be loved?Do you want to be alone?What is so bad you want let anyone love you?Loneliness, a world of its own.A place so dark, so empty,so cold/.There is alot of it going on.Everyone deserves love.Compassion,feeling needed,appreciated.I feel there is enough of people out there to have someone.Yet, there are so many alone.I don’t understand it.Beauty is only skin deep.Where’s the qaulity,integrety,?What has happened to our society,when they are only attracted to these models.When there are so many deserving women out there.Who would be so true.Are men that would be so true to you.Beauty is only skin deep people.Get under that beauty, you might not like what you find.A faithful, honorable,one who has integrity, who esteems you highly,is worth more than anything in this world.You couldn’t pay for a women are man with that worth.If you should have one ,hold to him are her tightly.Show them how much you care.Life has a way of showing up and changing things.So, you’d better treat them right.There’s always someone who will.To ignore ,to cast away,to reject,you best know, that’s what you want.You may lose in the end.Always treat your love with respect.With kindness.With love.With compassion.Desire him are her, show them everyday.You can pick up a phone.You can write them a little letter ,where they can find it.There is no excuse for ignoring the one you love.If you loved them,I feel, they’ll be on your mind.Don’t ignore them.You may lose them.The love of your life deserves to be loved.NEVER go to bed on your anger.I’m telling you this ,because loneliness is a hard road.You may not be able to handle.I’ve been threw so much,but this is the hardest of all.To feel unwanted,to feel alone in this world, is a tough one.I know, I have my dear children,its not the same.I want to feel loved by someone,Iwant to be wanted.Iwant to feel desired again.I’m a women.These are my deepest secrets.I’m writing them,because I have no one to talk to. I can’t expreess it to anyone.To painful.Alone.I know its my family thats reading these so...Can’t tell you.hurts to bad.To feel so empty inside,to feel so many pains.To feel so alone,Don’t know if I can withstand such pain, such loneliness.To have,but don’t have.He has his thing.He doesn’t need me.What to do.?Such pain.I’m crying inside daily;Just want to be loved.No matter your looks. Loneliness has no respector of persons.Either your cherished are mistreated,ignored.Unwanted. Loneliness Don’t think badly of me.Just needed to get it out.Not to offend anyone.I can’t hide how I feel anymore.LONELYNESS


8:41 PM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove 

This is a message from kitty:

October 6, 2007 - Saturday
it’s all of them hope you enjoy let me know what ya think k
IN ONE DAY
Current mood: awake
Category: Life


IN ONE DAY

My world as I knew it had ended.Not realizing what lay ahead.I would give evrything I own,past,present,and future to have that one day,back.That one moment it all changed.To try to stop what took place on that very day.My life and the lives of my children changed forever.

As well as my husbands.He had a catastophic brain injury.A day, I’ll never forget.The day I lost it all.Praying "LORD LET IT ALL BE OK".Not knowing what the future had in store for us all.The day it happened ,was one of the coldest days of our lives.At deaths door.Wondering is he going to live.Three of the longest months of my intire life.Not knowing the out come.He was in a coma for awhile.I had to hold down the forts.Trying with everything with in me ,not to lose control.He had to learn how to talk,walk,eat,drink,use the rest room.So,on.He was like a new born.They warned me,the out come.I couldn’t comprehend.Said he’d either be very cruel,or very sweet.No in between>I just couldn’t comprehind.I could barely comprehind what was going on.Much less,all the other things.I had to be there for the kids,keep up with everyday life.Not worrying what tomarrow would bring.A very lonely place to be.The love of your life clinging for his life,not even knowing what was happening.Emotional,mental,physically strained, was all I could bare,My children were young.They needed me as well.I was torn between the two.I couldn’t leave the hospital until they put him in rehab.They made me leave then.But,of course , I drove back and forth to him and the kids.Just so my three year old daughter could sleep.She wasn’t potty trained,I came home one day to find,she’d trained herself.My baby as I knew ,had even grown up.Wasn’t the same child.It has taken so much from us,that one day,GOD AWFUL DAY.

He didn’t know us for awhile.I needed him ,but he couldn’t be there.He toke my word ,that we were married.Until he remembered.Many times,I’d find myself in such fear of the unknown.The fear of never having my husband back.It was fine at first.Then as he healed,God help us.God was there all the way.If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have survived that one day.When our world turned upside down.The love we shared,what happened?Doctors tell me,he can’t help it.The personality(part of him that was damaged)will be different.I just wanted him to wake up.To come back to me.The love of my life,my all/.It hasn’t.He hasn’t come back.I waited patiently.It’s been 10 long hard years.It’s taken a toll on me and my kids,and him.That one day.To see him so hurt,to see him just lying there,no life,all I could pray was "LORD HELP HIM".Don’t take my kids father from them.Not realizing,he was already gone.Not the same.Love him dearly.

I can remember sitting on the balcony,across from the hospital in the rain.One of the loneliest times of my life,wondering why.Why did this have to happen.No one there,no to console me.Not understanding,really,all that was involved.Just wanted my family back.Spent most of my time alone.Started to reach out to other hurting families.I realized,there were alot of hurting people there as well..I found myself consoling others.Helping others when there son or daughters,or husbands,etc.were there for the same reasons or for otherserious reasons.We all helped one another to make it another day.That one day.I can remember this one family, and may God still be with them,had to pull the life support of there loved one.We all were so close,We all felt each others pain.It was like losing my own.It was one of the saddest days of my life.She stayed with me that night.We talked through the night together.Until she could go home.That precious Lady.She continued to call me from time to time.Helping me make it through, yet another day.Or,you could say minute by minute.When I began to reach out to others,is when I could go on.Realizing,I wasn’t the only one suffering.My precious niece brought my kids to visit,ment the world to me.Spent alot of time in the chapel as well.The priest told everyone, I had the face of an angel.He was amazed at everything that took place.I guess, that when people do show there love for one another, when your world has been torn apart,is amazing,it was GODS love.Strangers at that.When you find yourself in that kind of situation,you can’t but wonder,what they’re here for.Are they going through what I’m going through.Your heart aches for them as well.To know that kind of pain.Not wanting anyone else to feel your pain.That one day.To walk in the darkness.The shadow of death.At your doorsteps.Not knowing if he’ll survive.Not knowing the out come.Just want to do what’s right.Not thinking of yourself.Others.Isn’t that what life is about?To help who you can?To be there for who you can?Hoping one day the same will return.Not really expect it to.To give all you have.Till the well is empty.Almost, totally, lost my very being.When I was finally made to leave the hospital,I lost it.Don’t remember even how I drove home.The good LORD drove my car that day.I remember beginning to cry.I felt myself losing control,Screaming,the pain so deeep,so strong.I had no control any more.Don’t remember even making it home.All I can remember,is waking up,sitting in my floor at home,rocking back and forth,.Do remember crying"GOD HELP ME MY KIDS OVER AND OVER. NOT realizing it was three days later.I could feel my self hitting myself>It was as if I were stuck inside myself,only an inch tall.Was consumed by the pain the grief.In total darkness.That one day, had so much power over our lives.It’s still here.We live it everyday of our lives.That one day ,that one moment, forever in our lives.Appreciate the time you have with each other.Tomarrow may have something else in store for you,We don’t know what tomarrow may bring,but we do know what we have today.Cherish it.You may not have a tomarrow.Love your family,enjoy them.Always say " I LOVE YOU TO THOSE YOU LOVE".You may not have the chance again.Your very lives could be the next in line.THE darkness of one day destroyed,it came and it went.The storm has past over.IN ONE DAY, ONE SECOND,NEVER TO BE THE SAME AGAIN.ONE DAY.I never thought my home, would be a place ,,I felt ,I;don’t belong..Traped in the past to long.The one who is blamed.Carry a lot of guilt.To carry the load of all that pain,that darkness.THAT ONE DAY.To see you husband in diapers,not able to speak,not able to write,didn’t know white from black.Brain mussed.That one day.Watch the way you drive.watch the way you hit someone.Don’t drink and drive.You have others lives in hand.Could become your day!That one day.One split second could change your very being . I was just sitting here going over the events that took placeThat ONE DAY. Remembering how it was,and how it is.I never want anyone to experience what I have been through and what my family has been through.Neither for you ,nor your loved ones.To know such darkness is chilling.That One Day.To be forever a part of our lives.A reality.Past,preant,and future.I have learned alot of things going through this storm.Patience ,love for others,and appreciation I never known before.To appreciate any gift life has to offer,good are bad.Meet some really wonderful ,precious people.It was an honor of meeting them.Lost alot of friends,gained alot more.The ones I lost were never truelly my friends.You’ll find your true friends, when the waves of life start rocking.They run from you,or to you.It diffently made me see the world with new eyes,and see the world a different way/.No scales.ugly at times,beautiful at times,.To never be remembered the same,Are to see it the same.Too not take life for granted again.To love and to be loved.To live and let live.To enjoy the times you can and the times you can’t.To appreciate,to respect,to ravish life itself.To take those opportuinities you’re so afraid to take.To be all I can to others.If I’m your friend ,Family,anything at all to you.I’ll be my best!Give you my all.I never want to be remembered nothing more and nothing less.,Than I gave my all.To have no regrets,expecting nothing in return.Don’t want to have any regrets,not anymore.It hurt to much to see your love one just lying there,not knowing if he’’ll surviveWondering what will happen,have I done my all,said my all?You tend to go over your whole life,relationship,wondering what more you could have done,said...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................What what more could I have done?Given,offered.To be my all.Holding nothing back,seen alot of regrets.I wanted the chance to change things.Prayed for the opportunity to have another chance.Now the opportunity is here ,giving my all,tried to be my best, done my best,it’s up to him now.Done all, been all.It’s up to him now.I’ve give my all,THAT ONE DAY.So much a reality,NEver to be the same.Praying for change,Praying "Loard help me hold on",giving my all.I will have no regrets,will you?Just want the love of our lives ,to love us more than life it self.Is that to much to ask?To appreciate,to love,to protect,to not be so selfish and self centered.Not wanting to loss him.He doesn’t want to live.Just want him to love again.Is that to much to ask,is that to painful?Even for you?THAT ONE DAY.Life is to short,enjoy your life.If you don’t,life will show up and destory.The storms of life will beat against you,or swallow you up.It will rockyour world as you know it.Believe me,if it hasn’t yet it will.It’s life.Life will happen.Things do happen.Life teaches you.LOve ,care,concern for others,patience,I could go on.WE as a people are spoiled.We need to step back and see someone for who they really are.Not so busy,we can’t see daylight.take one minute to say hello to someone.It’s how you handle those storm,depends weaather you go back on that wheel r not,Mine is diffently still trying to tell me something,still showing me things and it always will.It happens to the just and the unjust,no repector of persons.It can be very painful at times,Just hold your head up.Move forward.straight ahead.Don’t turn back don’t turn around.Forward.

If you never learn anything,learn this one for me.When your pointing your finger at someone,remember you have four pointing back at you.Never judge anyone,you don’t know what road they’ve taken.They may have walked were your walking now.They may have the answer.LOve one another,care for one another,life is to short.This world may be exciting,big,fun,cold,scary,even lonely at times.Even wonderful.Where is your place?It such a big place.Take it by force.Go after it.You have to take life,You have to take what you want.It want fall in your lap>It has alot of stops and blocks,twist and turns..Lot of dirrernt directions,lot of lonely roads.What ever road you may be on,REMEMBER,Someone’s already been down that road.It can be very difficult,reach out to GOD he’ll be there.Just reach out to someone,Don’t hide the pain.It’s to much of a price to pay.You’re not alone.Cry,scream,yell,what ever,It’s ok it’s fine,What ever the pain the feeling,hurts,loneliness,fears,etc.They must be released.In some way,some how.Wished someone had shared this with me.It’s ok to break ,your not weak.It almost destoyed me.Your not alone.There are people who really care.Want to help.Hold on.God is there.He;ll always send someone your way.Will you except how he sends?Someone to comfort,to hold,to protect,you;’ll see.Things have really spiraled out of control.Wanting so much for normalcy .Will never be the same,but I can hold my head high and say"Thank you LORD for another day".My children need me to be stronge,to be there,to be my all,my best,yet another day.If it weren’t for my beautiful children,don’t think I could go on.They are my strenght,now my world.Love them more than life itself.I’ve encountered so much anger,hostility,rage,.And at other times,kindness,love joy.so out of control.Not knowing what the day will bring.Not even knowing when to speak or just look away;.Not know ing to show my love or hide it.My anger put away.Just not knowing.Life as we know it,A reality.THAT ONE DAY.To walk on pins and needles a reality,THAT ONE DAY.Life ,reality,So much my world,That One Day.To never be that one day.Please,never take your life for granted!You just may have that one day,ONe second forever gone in THAT ONE DAY,.REMEBER NO REGRETS.THANK YOU.